EEEKKKKK OMG!

I woke up this morning to a new BBM/Picture message on my phone!
One of my best friends got engaged last night!
nhaiodf;gjasefhagjsn gfipobhrajgesdfhasiofhgaerg!!!! I'M SO FUCKING EXCITEDDDD!
Unfortunately this means I won't be able to weigh in until the end of the week (instead of tomorrow as promised) but GAHHHH I'M SO EXCITED!
I haven't found out about the deets yet, mainly because I'm waiting for her to reply to my message, but I REALLLYYYY hope that there's a wedding, that I get to be in it, or at least I get to go to it, and that I get to help DRESS SHOP! Hellooooooo Motivation to loose more weight!
But NOW I'll have to be careful about my loss... the Bride-to-be is about the same size as I am, and as much as I'd like to will look fantastic at this wedding, I can't look better than her.
Hey, for once I'm thinking of someone other than myself and my ED... this is progress :)
Anyways... GFIU;AH;ODSHSIOADHFJGIHFAJHF IM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!
Love you guys, and I'll try my best to follow posts and such for the next few days but it looks as if my household is going to be atwitter with guests and such so I may not be able to post!
<3

Saturday

Sooo update on last night.

When I left you guys, I was still fasting, all was well.

I got home and my dad had made chicken wings and nachos... hellooo calories! Anyways, I ate only 4 wings (240 cals) and only a little bit of nachoes (soo lets round that up to say 300-350 max)
Then we had cake, and ice cream and cookies, and chips, cheese and crackers, the list goes on... I was polite and only had a little tiny bit of each, but still, I was sooo full, and I feel like I ate 10 million calories worth of CRAP

So I got up and worked out first think this morning (couldn't last night- family time and all haha)

So yeah, had a good hour long workout this morning... did 40 mins on the elliptical then the good ole 100 workout which feels like a pretty good output.

Then mom, dad and I just (LITERALLY just ) had dinner... some pad-thai wannabe meal... it was deeeelish. I took a tiny bit of rice, then my dad put on a scoop of chicken in some spicy thai sauce, then put cooked carrots and green beans on top, followed by bean sprouts and thinnnn slices of peppers. So me, being OH SO SMART, guzzled back some water, ate the veggies and a couple pieces of chicken (the pieces were about the diameter of a nickel and about a centimetre (under half an inch) thick) -and whatever rice was stuck to the chicken/veggies... then I went back and loaded up on more bean sprouts, ate them and voila, not only am I STUFFED, my parents think I ate a significant amount more than I actually did, and I barely touched my dinner.

Bravo for me... I figure dinner was in all likelihood under 400 cals to begin with, but I wouldnt be surprised if I was more in the 150 cal or less range- tres proud of myself!

Ps, bean sprouts for those of you who didn't know... are 27 cal for half a package (100 grams) ahaha yesssss! I love it!

Now the gameplan is to go out and stay away from food tonight.. Then I plan to workout then go home tomorrow morning- and resume fasting until at least Tuesday!

Love ya's

Fasting- Day 3

Surprise! I know, I've been slightly MIA for the last bit, I've been spending a lot of time at the boy's  and at school, and Idunno, there's just something uncomfortable about blogging in class... like people can read over my shoulder, and I just get really self-conscious. So I try to avoid it (which takes every fiber of my being to do by the way)

Anyways, yes, I've been pretty much fasting for 3 days now! And I feel fantastic! I say "pretty much" because although I've been fasting, there are times where you just HAVE to eat... for example, I had a piece of chocolate on day two because I was in a meeting, and they were passed around and I didn't want to be rude/the odd one out, or last night, while we were doing homework, the boy made toast with some soy peanut butter on it, and I had half a piece because he made me a full piece (without asking- to be nice) But all in all, I think that I've done exceptionally well, and I'm quite proud of myself. I'm still not weighing myself for another week, but hopefully I'll be into the 140s with all of my hard work! I went to the gym yesterday, and I've been getting in lots of exercise in other ways ;)
My diet's basically been consisting of water and black coffee for the last couple of days, but I'm going home tonight until Sunday, so I plan on just eating some peppers (I already cut them up and have them ready to go) and SMALL portions of whatever my dad makes for dinner (it's a birthday celebration weekend- my sisters were at the beginning of the month, mom's was last week, and mine is next week!)- so unfortunately there will likely be cake, but I'll be able to get away with small portions of everything- my mom's pretty understanding with what she thinks is "dieting" but in reality is hardcore restricting when she's not around (shhhhh dont tell)

Even though I've been fasting 3 days now, with exercise and such... I feel really good. I mean, I get tired a little earlier in the day (last night I was up doing homework till midnight, and I thought I was going to fall asleep into my computer)- but I mean, I've never been a night person. My workouts have been gong great- If I push too hard I get a little dizzy, so I know to drink some water and slow up my pace and within a couple minutes I feel fantastic again, and Surprisingly, I'm not that hungry! I actually was just in the kitchen getting ready to leave for home (before I realized that the snow outside my door was not making that possible) and I looked in the fridge, and all I wanted was one of my pepper slices. Not a huge piece of the marble cake with chocolate icing that's sitting on the counter. Not the candy or rice krispie squares in the cupboard, but one single slice of red pepper (and I'm not talking big slices here- I'm talking like the size you'd get in a veggie tray or something). Needless to say, I took 3 pieces, ate them, and am content with that. This was about 2 hours ago... And I haven't returned to the fridge. I am beyond proud of myself. Fasting has definitely reset my cravings from sweets and shit that's bad for me to veggies an good healthy foods.

Anyways, let's hope this weekend goes well, I'll keep you guys posted!

Real Quick Off to Class- Re: Seizure

Hey Loves!
Thanks all for being so concerned about yesterday <3
Don't fret, seizures are normal for me... well okay, far from normal, but no it's not from restricting or my eating or anything like that. It's an allergic reaction that I have (*cough to condoms (ahem latex)*) that causes me to do anything from space out to black out and everything in between, depending on how bad the reaction is. Haha it's not really anything I can avoid (NO I refuse to avoid it- I hate latex-free ones and lets be honest, I'm too smart to not use them, and too in love to stop doing...it), my seizures aren't that bad when they do happen (rarely)- I'm fully aware whats going on around me, it's just that my body trembles for a couple minutes, thats it that's all. It sucks fucking balls, but hey, that's life and we all have our crosses to bear.

Anyways, I'll post more and read blogs later today, I have class in like 20 mins that I have to be running off too! <3 xo love you guys!

How does he do it?

Gah, I was doing SO WELL with my fast yesterday, I was like an hour away from Pilates time, and was out shopping with the not-boyfriend exboyfriend. (gah my life is so complicated). Anyways, we were out, shopping, and then he invited me for dinner/movie at his house. I bailed on Pilates, didn't do too bad on dinner (def under 300 cal) then we had some like caramel popcorn, which I still don't think did TOO much damage, overall for yesterday I was probably around 500 cal, definitely under 600 though. Which sucks, but it wasn't terrible. I wish I knew how he does it, but he just makes me feel so comfortable, and I don't even notice what I've eaten until it's gone. Ugh. But then I got a little workout in ;) so all was well.

But today. Today was the big problem. Woke up in the morning and decided that I was still fasting to make up for yesterday. Was getting ready for class, and he of course distracted me (oh yeah, I slept over there haha). Anyways, I woke up determined to fast, go for a run, etc.

But then we had a quickie.

Then I had a seizure (I'm fine, don't panic, it happens)

Then we decided we had 20 mins before we had to leave for class... I slowly got up, and showered and such, but by the time we were both ready, we'd basically decided to not go to class, and to go for Coffee instead. How could I say no. I was in a daze. So we went, I had a calorie filled latte (yes and he used the line "because I like you a latte"- straight out of the movies. It was adorable. THEN we decided to go for lunch. He wanted to go for Subway, which I was okay with because I was just going to pick my veggies and such out and just eat them without the bread- not too bad. But when we pulled in front of  Subway, he decided he wanted something a little fancier, and we decided to go for sushi instead. How could I resist sushi! I've been avoiding it for so long. It's been almost a year since I've last had it because it doesn't help me loose weight at all. But somehow he convinced me, and we had all you can eat sushi. I'm bursting at the seams. I still didn't even eat that much, but I'm so stuffed, I feel disgusting. And so now, I'm not going to the gym because I'm so full I'd rather not barf all over their nice equipment... and as much as I'd love to purge (not even for like bulimic purposes, but only to make my stomach hurt a little less)- I know I can't because I just took my birth control, and I'd rather be fat for a little longer than pregnant for 9 months then stuck with a baby (see my rational thinking is still in tact at least) gahhhh I'm so full! And I'm so stupid! And I'm so angry with myself!

Clearly, I'm not eating for the rest of today (not that I'll even want/need to)

Hopefully I didn't undo all of the hard work I've done the last couple weeks

And I'm fasting for the rest of the week (until I go home this weekend- so 3 days fast- then veggies and such at home with the parents this weekend. Pretty fair I think, it's definitely doable)

140s by next week? Oh yes, I think so. Positive attitude, I'll be there! :)

Not going to break

Just a quick check-in! I've been doing REALLLYYYYY well with my fasting! I caved a little bit last night, but not enough to frustrate me even a little bit. I went for a run this morning and then had waterpolo this evening, and I've had only water today. Now I was pretty hungry fucking starving as I left for my game but when I got there, I found that one of my teammates had decided in her infinite wisdom to bring my MORTAL ENEMY (aka skankbitch ex bff who tried to steal my (ex)boyfriend right after he and I broke up)
Anyways, it was mortifying seeing her at the game... Me in my bathing suit for one is uncomfortable as it is, but it doesn't bother me too much because I know that my teammates don't care what I look like, and the people we're playing against aren't paying attention to how I look (I'm kind of a rockstar in the pool, so they're more worried about my mad skills yo!) But her. I know she was staring down at me from the stands all judgey and whatnot. I'LL HAVE NONE OF THAT! Gah! I hate her so much! We're roughly the same size right now, but that's fucking changing. I came back from the game and all notions of hunger are GONE.
I CAN do this. I will not break on my restricting. I have Pilates scheduled for tomorrow, and then swimming wednesday (yes, all this talk about swimming, and I've decided to get back into it, who knows, maybe I'll get back to racing- lmao) then kickboxing Thursday (I had to cancel last Thursday :( Major snowstorm made getting there difficult)
Anyways, off to see the new Underworld movie! Kate Beckinsale! loooveee <3

so cold

Hey Guys!
I hope everyone's feeling much better this weekend! As I write this (yes, write, not type- i didn't have a computer with me) I am in a frigid hockey arena for 4 HOURS)! And it's not much warmer outside (insert Canada Jokes Here)
It's SO COLD- to keep warm I wore 3+ layers of clothing (yes, 3 pairs of pants, 2 sweatshirts under my coat, etc.) I feel so ginormous. I checked the mirror before I left the house, and in all honesty, I look like a fat sausage stuffed crammed into my winter jacket (it's almost bursting at the seams)- hellooooo self-consciousness. I mean, it already feels a little tight without the sweaters, but now I just feel gross (and I have to wear it all again on Saturday)
I've found a new thinspiration/motivation this week though- Kate Beckinsale. The guys and I have been watching all of the Underworld movies recently and I keep having to hear about how gorgeous she is. It's annoying, but I agree- I'd kill for her body. I WILL have that body- soon.

Kate Beckinsale. Gah so gorgeous

I'm home for the weekend now- house all to myself and so far my restricting has been testing but good. My parents have SO MUCH good food (aka terrible for me) that I would LOVE to just binge on- but I haven't and now I'm going to go work out so I KNOW I wont eat (I never feel hungry after a workout)-that's my goal for this weekend- water fast and workout to kickstart my next week (now that I'm feeling much better, I need to get back on track!

Love yas!

mmmmm delicious

It seems like everywhere around me I see my ED. The last couple of days have been kind of rough, I've been doing pretty alright foodwise, but I cant focus, food, weight, not eating, its all constantly on my mind, I can't get away from it.

I can't wait until this weekend where I can get away, I'll be going home, I'll have the house to myself so I can exercise like crazy, and I'll be working the whole time, so I won't have time to eat. It'll be really nice. And I'm super excited for kickboxinggggg tomorrow! GAH!

I had so much that I wanted to tell you guys, and now I can't remember any of it! ughhhh! It was just general stuff, nothing too exciting has happened in my life the last couple of days but still, I wanted to share! Butttt I don't remember. So I'll post again later!

In the meantime, I just saw this posted by a friend on Facebook and thought it might be nice for some of you to read. I know it did wonders for me :)

Can You Guess What McDonald’s Food Item This Is?

Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made – things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.

Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve — bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.

There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.

But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?

Disgusting right? Well enjoy!

Rasberry Beret

This song is my new obsession! Idunno why, it came on in the car today, and obviously I knew it, but its always so overlooked, but it was so calming, I don't know why, but it just was. And I liked it.

Sooo not much to report, been feeling much better, doing lots of homework and such. Weekends over tomorrow, lots of crap and errands to do, (yay! I get to make lists and shit!) Then working the overnight shift tomorrow night, so don't expect a post (because I don't have internet at work), but I'll probably write something out with my computer and then just post it in a day or so (so look foreward to that!)


Foodwise, I've been doing splendidly, haven't weighed myself, like I promised, but I'm superrrr excited because now that I'm settled back into school, I can get back to the gym and such! Kickboxing Thursday, can't fucking wait! GAH!

I saw Beauty and the Beast tonight (In theatres, of course I've already seen it before)- it was good, and I'm glad I saw it (it came out originally the year I was born, so definitely worth seeing the classics in theaters), but was it everything I ever dreamed of? Not really, Lion King was fantastic though. But I am happy to say that Disney did not disappoint :)

Anyways, I think that's all I have for now, I'm pretty tired and I have an EARLYYYY class tomorrow, so I'll catch you all on the flip side!

Oh and for SAM- the much promised Supernatural Secrets that you may or may not have heard! (WARNING!!!)- For anyone who is not caught up in Supernatural, I wouldn't read this if I were you! It'll make you SAAAADDDDD
Okkkkk soooo we (me and the ex) were watching an interview with Robert Singer (the producer, not the character haha) and he told us 3 important things about this season that you'll be EVER SO HAPPY TO HEAR
1. We get to see Bobby again in some capacity ("not necessarily alive")-aka he's probably the reason that Deans beer mysteriously drank itself 2 episodes ago (thats just my thoughts though)
2. Cas, that's right Misha fucking Collins will be back for a 3 episode story arc at somepoint this season (mainly because we, the people were PISSED THE FUCK OFF that his death with the leviathans was so STUPID)- anyways, sadly, it looks like this story arc will be the end of this character :( (SADFACE)- apparently the goal of this season was to separate the boys from everyone close to them (ie. the car, Cas then Bobby)
3. Season 7 (aka now) will end with a cliff hanger ending, regardless of whether or not SPN gets renewed (which we probs wont find out till fucking April like last year)

Anyways, I thought you might like to hear that news (even though it has mixed feelings- but at least we're prepared for it now!)

Love yous all! <3 xox

Motivational Challenge

Down to business.

I've noticed that a) a lot of us have been sick lately and so I hope that you all get better, I'm feeling MUCH better myself today, thanks to everyone for the well wishes!

I've also noticed that b) a lot of us have mentioned in our blogs that we've been slipping up the last week or so, or in the words of Emma, we've "been really down and lost [our] drives to loose weight". Emma's right, and I'm no exception to this. I've been failing miserably at fasting the last couple of days. Part of the reason will come later in this post, but the other part is just that I have no motivation to do anything. I've been feeling so... empty the last few days. I had to force myself to go to school, I haven't exercised in forever, I haven't drawn, or written like I wanted to, haven't read any school books, and I've been eating the most unhealthy foods imaginable. And I hate myself for it, but that's just not stopping me.

But Emma's given me an idea. Many of us are stuck in a certain range (I'm stuck, like her in the 150s), some of you are stuck in the 130s, some of you in the 100s)- my challenge for you this month is a simple one, but will take work. Break Through. My challenge is for you to break through your range into a new one. So for myself, I need to break through the 150s and into the 140s. That's all. It's not a challenge to see who can loose the most, it's more of a kind of motivation to help us all back up on our feet to where you want to be. It doesn't matter what you do to achieve this- diets, exercise regimes, whatever, just do it. For some, this will mean loosing only 2lbs, for others (and sadly, including myself) it will mean 7lbs, but don't let that stop you, we're all in this together.

Yes, you heard right, I've gained a disgusting 6lbs! I'm back up to 156lbs after being sick and eating all of those crackers and toast and such. But that's not all that I've been eating. The biggest offender (as of yesterday)- Peanut Butter.

My ex and I (we'll call him K), so, K and I have been getting along well lately, and hanging out a lot. The same was true for last night... Things were going great, and then we got into a fight over his stupidly telling a bunch of our friends something that was private between the two of us from back when we dated. He was playing a drinking game with our friends and it came up (as part of the game) and he told everyone. He didn't tell who it was, but everyone kind of assumed because we dated for 5 years, so it's pretty obvious that I was the girl in the story. So now, every time a question surrounding the issue comes up in future games (which is often I play all the time)- I can't lie about it because they all know, and it's mortifying. Anyways, so we got in a fight because of this, and me not being able to trust him around that bitch of an ex best friend and such, anyways, world war III, I ended up leaving, all pissed off, and in my infinite anger, I decided to eat like a million Reese Peanut butter cups, some PB on toast, etc. Why? Because that's what I do when I'm mad at him. Why is that, you may ask? I eat Peanut Butter  either a) so I'm not tempted to go make up with him (he has an allergy)  or b) so that if I want to, I have the power to kill him in an angry, anaphylactic rage. Mind you, I'm not sure whether it's for A or B, but regardless, it was a lot of peanut butter, which I'm not proud of.

We still haven't spoken. It's a lot of anger and resentment at the moment...
It makes me sad.
BUT! Starting tomorrow, I'm turning things around!

Oh also, I found This website which I thought I'd share (I'm in charge of hosting a lunch tomorrow so I was hunting for low cal recipes I can serve to others and found it! Enjoy Loves! xox

The fever has broken!

OHHHHmygod.

Sooo I died the last two days. So sorry for not posting.... Monday, my fast went well, ate a 50 cal cup of soup... and just died for most of the day with my sickness. Yesterday however was a whole new game though. I was just puking and such all day, everything I ate, came out 5 minutes later... I had a nice fever of 102... sooo needless to say, DEATH. Soo, I ended up eating a whole lot of food, especially when I started to feel better last night. I have no idea what I ate or anything, sooo we're back to square one on the fast, but I CAN DO THIS :D

I feel much better today than I have all week, so things are definitely getting better, I skipped the first day of classes (for some of my classes) yesterday, and I have today off, sooo I'm basically being useless today, but it should be a nice break for me to get laundry done and my room cleaned!

There's not much more to report, life's been mainly me dying for the last week, but I'm sure something exciting will happen soon.. Its got to, right?

SOUP

Good Afternoon Class,
Today we're going to learn about SOUP :)
Soooo I'm stupid and may have given you the wrong name of the soup I use, but NOW I have pictures so you all know what to look for if you're interested! (*please, please, hold the applause)

Sooo this is what it looks like: it's super delicious, and it's "30 calories per 1/4 pouch" and each pouch calls for 4 cups of water... soooo logistically, it's 30 cal per cup of soup (OR you can use more water, annnndddd less cals) also, 0 fat :D yay team!

Anywhoo, it's been pretty quiet around here, I'm a bit better, still headcoldish though, so I'm a gloomy gus, but I've been doing good with a) the intake and b) the scale avoidance. Classes started again today, and it fucking SUCKS, but I'll deal. Night class tonight (BOOOOO) So I MAY post more during that depending how hard/long/boring it is!

But this has to be a short post because I have shit to dooooo! (Unfortunately no, that does not include a workout today... boooo maybe tomorrow but probably not because I'M DYING AND DONT WANT TO MOVE)  And, my life's not that exciting anyways (kiddingggggg) lol so catch you all laterrrr!

PS: for Sam, I thought you'd like this- It was my desktop background for a really long-ass time along with a few others but that was a different computer sooooo here's this one to make you smile

wheeeeeeeeeeeee

whoops- havent been home in 24 hours

yupp.... and I'm still sick so I'm going to bed! But I promise to reply to everyone/read posts/ give deets on this delicious soup tomorrow after my class (so like around lunch EST) :D
Loves ya!<3

SATURDAY

Yeah, I couldn't think of a better title
"Bitch. I'm Sick" would be a good one....
So would "FML"
or, "I'M GETTING MARRIED"
But let's not jump to conclusions. No, ex didn't propose, don't get your knickers all in a twist... it's just to the wonderful Sam Lupin- based on her lovely comment from my last post! aha (NOT that its any less exciting! haha)

Anyways, business as usual: I'M FUCKING SICK I woke up sick sick sick this morning, SO I've decided that I'll modify my fast for the time being. SOUP- I'm not stupid. I know that not eating will basically KILL ME, so until I'm better, I'll be mowing down on the most delicious (and looowww cal) vegetable soup known to man (its out of a package its like Knolls or something weird- 20cal/serving (1 cup/serving)

What else.... I got a gorgeous dress yesterday! It's floor length, black, strapless, has a loooonnnngggg slit right up the front (between my legs) and then a long flowing panel that falls over top of it (sounds weird but you cant even see the slit unless I'm moving around, and the panel is great because it hides any nasty ass muffin top going on. I'll post pictures when I get it back in a million years (aka february) but I gave it to my friend's mom to get hemmed because I'm a short little bugger, and I definitely need a nice pair of seamless undies before I wear it anywhere. Where am I wearing it? Well on the red carpet with my future hubby Jensen Ackles of course.
In the meantime, the dress kind of looks like this:

well... they're both black and strapless, this is as close as I can find on short notice, but you'll all see it on me soon enough!

Anyways, I have to jet! I'm well overdue (aka 2 days overdue) for a shower (ewwwwwww I know) and I'm heading to see SHERLOCK EFFING HOLMES tonight and I'm super excited for THAT :) but I need to shower before I do that.

On the plus side, I'm back at school now (YAYYY) sooo let the games begin!

Special thanks to Carousel for being so awesome :) annnndddd Sam you should probs just read below:

SAM: Yes! of course you can marry me (and not just for the maids ;)) And YES! I knew it was you guiding me aroud cuba! THATTTSSS why  my butt kept being pinched (KIDDINGGG)! The strays are so sadddd :( but thenagain, idunno what kind of terrible diseases they're liable to give me or my puppy so I left them there. I loovvveee swimming and dolphins <3 (though I could do without salty water... it just reminds me of being sick and having my mom constantly telling me to rinse with salt water (which is SO GROSS)
Unfortunately I'm pasty-ass ginger skin tone so I burn like a motherfucker so I'm jealous of your tannability! I'm like 5'1" and three-whole-motherfucking-quarters of an inch! (sooo essentially 5'2", therefore, Jensen Ackles and are are made for eachother since hes not OVERLY tall haha :P But mmmm I'm liking this Sia thing ha its on!
As for ring suggestions.... feel free to choose from here (BAAHAHA AS IF- I'd die if someone ever spent this amount on a ring for me!)

Anyways, Love yous! And to all of the other ladies whose blogs I read today only to hear that they're sick too, FEEL BETTERRRR!
Stupid winter. How I love/hate you

<3

ALRIGHT! Down to Business!

First off, thank you all for patiently waiting while I got my shit together!
Secondly, I MISSED YOU ALLLLL!

I hope all of your Christmasses and New Yearses and whatever other Holidays you may or may not celebrate at this time of year went extraordinarily well! <3

Cuba was gorgeous! Sooo In a nutshell, My flight left early early early in the morning, so when I arrived at the resort, we had all day to play in the sun! The next day wasn't so nice, so we went into town and toured (fun fact: our tour guides were a cop and an ex- military sniper- were we safe? Absolutely) aha. Veradero was nice, we found that there were a lot of stray dogs wandering around (so sad- I wanted to just adopt them all!)
We spent most of the week sunning on the beach or around the pool, one of the days we went snorkeling in the coral reef (so gorgeous! I'll try to upload pictures when I get them (we used a disposable underwater camera) so if any turn up I'll post!). We also went on the catamaran, and I got to finally swim with the dolphins! (so so happy!)
Went to Havana (Cuba's Capitol) one of the days for a historical tour, it was fun, but really rushed because it was New Years Eve day and apparently in Cuba they don't celebrate like Christmas or Thaksgiving or any of the holidays that we in North America celebrate, so New Years Eve is their big holiday, so we went back early and partied at the resort! So fun!
And that basically sums up my week! We had perfect weather, I sunburned a couple times but now I have a wickeddd tan (even though I'm peeling a bit)!

Nowwww onto the issues:  first off, I didn't gain any weight! I'm still teetering around ROUGHLY what I was when I left (I just got home and I've already eaten breakfast but when I weighed myself the other day I was a pound and a bit up, but as I said in an earlier post, I always bloatttt up in the heat, so that explains that I hope. But still, even though I didn't really gain anything, I felt like a nasty cowwww in my bathing suit next to my skinny fucking roommate and her skinny fucking family.
Its so annoying. When we were packing to leave, I got out the hotel room scale so I could weigh my baggage (I'm an overpacker) and she stepped on the scale just for shits and giggles and I snuck a glance and saw that she weighs about the same (a little more) than me... but you'd never fucking know it because she's much taller and her stomach is so flat! WHAT THE HELL! I'm so bitter!
Also, I havent uploaded Cuba pictures yet, sooo you'll have to wait for those

Onto the gameplan: I head back to school tomorrow afternoon, sooo SUNDAY marks my first day of fasting! I'm partially doing it for obvious reasons, and partly because I feel so disgusting right now from all the crap I've been eating lately that I just need to get it all out of my system! ughhhh
Well, I feel like hungover shit right now soo I'm going to go die for a bit! Love yous all!

OH! UPDATE!
soooo that guy that I used to date and have currently been kinda sorta seeing lately... FUCK
He gave me my Christmas present when I got back from Cuba (aka the other night). I bought him a mug with his fave band on it... just in case...because we hadn't talked about doing presents, but I wanted to be prepared... and good idea for me because he did get me a present (although mine for him is already at school) soooo we were all drinking at my house, and when he and our friends left the house, he slipped me a fairly good sized package as he walked out the door. After cleaning up, I open it and its a fucking gold and silver necklace of a heart with a dolphin going through it. Mother FUCK! I GOT HIM A MUG fuckkkkkkkk! I'm so rattled by this! I texted my roommate and all I could say to her for an hour was.. "a mug..." GAH! so luckily I have until I see him tomorrow to add to the gift but OMG guys the necklace was gorgeous, and may I remind you, we're not dating, so BAH WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!

anyways I missed you guys terribly! xox I'll post again when I get back to school tomorrow night (unless something exciting happens before then)

Oh and shoutout to Sam Lupin: OHMAGEEEEEE so excited for TONIGHTTTT!:)

So glad THIS resumes tonight! :D

xx

whoops

and by "I'll post tomorrow morning" I OBVIOUSLY meant eventually because I got a little drunk last night and just woke up and am walking out the door. I need a while to collect my thoughts to give a good long, all encompassing post soooo hopefully later today before I go to the cottage! BAH!

BACK! And I Missed You Terribly!

Hello My Loves!
Just a quick post before I rush out for the evening! I focused my afternoon up until now catching up on all of your lives, and holy hell where did the time go!
I promise to post at detailed length tomorrow morning (my time) because I'm about to go out with some friends and still need to shower and such. Anyways, I just wanted you all to know that I'm home safe, alive and a bit sunburned, am roughly the same weight as I was when I left (although a little bloated as I always get in the hot weather, so that should take off about a pound or so in another day I should hope)
I truly missed you all terribly.... it's so difficult to enjoy a "leisurely vacation" when your mind is constantly wandering to your insecurities in a bathing suit, and wishing that you had the support of people who understand. I missed you guys! <3
Anyways, I'll give the deets tomorrow, and perhaps post up a few pics while I'm at it ;)
Love yas! <3 xoxo
L