Okay, I feel like I'm just making excuses. In early July, it was wicked hot out. I mean the type of heat where you couldn't open the windows for 2 weeks for fear of melting into a puddle. Stupidly enough, I continued with my workouts during these weeks. At first I was doing my usual 5ish km, but then after suffering heatstroke not once, but twice, I cut back and started running before work early early early in the mornings (like... 4am early- still dark, still cool= not a bad run). Anyways, worktime is over, school starts again soon, but right now I feel like I'm in limbo; caught between two much needed strict schedules of what I'm doing and when.
I like schedules. I like structure in my life. I like knowing that okay, if I'm going to work out today, it has to be now because I have to do XYandZ at these times and might be too tired to go later, or something else might come up. But right now, I'm stuck. I have nothing to do. I've been getting up later, running at 8am when it's still cool-ish but not by much; I've cut back my running distance because I feel like I just cant handle the humidity, plus my endurance is shot from being on vacation for 2 weeks. My running times have slowed wayyyy up and halfway through my circut I convince myself to stop (my circut goes from my house, in a 2.5km route around my area, past my house again, then towards downtown and back which is 3km.). Instead of 5km, I'm doing about 2.5km in the mornings now, along with a workout after. I convince myself that I'll run another 2.5km and workout in the afternoon, but then it gets too hot to do that and well, heatstroke wasn't fun so I'm not going to do anything stupid like that again, especially when I run outside, and know that all of the motorists on the street are watching me run.
Today I even made plans with one of my girlfriends to go for a run. but then we had a crazy thunderstorm. The heat broke, which is great, but the lightning prevented us from going and by the time the storm had ended, the immense heat was already back.
On the plus side, my restricting and small snacking and such is getting much better. I've been really hardcore at it for a couple of days now and I'm hardly hungry now. The small snacks of things like apples, bell peppers and celery have really helped. Plus I've been drinking so much water that my bladder is going to explode, so my stomach is always full!
I'm really getting into crunch time. The party I'm still contemplating on going to is coming up quickly, and I haven't made nearly as much progress as I would have liked. I've almost decided to give up on my goal for the party and make another one for a little bit later. I should've been more conscious about my weight-loss while I was on vacation, and now it's almost unrealistic to expect to be where I want to be by the party (that doesn't mean I'm not going to try!) But if I just aim to do my best by the party, I won't be so disappointed.
Instead, I'm going to set a few new goals!
My absolute favourite holiday is Halloween. J'adore dressing up in costume, and I always think of creative costume ideas that I not only make, but are generally a big hit. A few years ago (when I was at my thinnest) I rocked a wicked Poison Ivy costume, and one of my friends went as the Joker, it was brilliant and we won a contest while we were at it. Last year Halloween sucked bigtime. I got into a huge fight with my best friend and then the hostess of the party we were going to got food poisoning and everything got cancelled. I still went to some other small parties, but nothing big happened, I wasn't with my main friend group, and I didn't get a single picture. This year, things are going to be different. I want to rock Halloween like it's my job. That means my goal is to lose at least 20lbs by then and come up with a rocking costume to put all my past ones to shame. Look forward to costume ideas and pictures in the near future (and as I get closer to my goal, which is what will really help me decide what to be)!
My next goal is Christmas/New Years. For Christmas, my family and I are going down south where it's hot hot hot, bathing suits are a must and frolicking on the beach will happen. That means I need to look my best. My goal is to be back to at least my original weight by then, so I can look stellar. New Years is another story. New years is probably going to be the next time (after this upcoming party perhaps) that I'll get to see my ex boyfriend and my bitch of an ex-best friend who slept with him (oh the drama in my life). If I've ever had a goal it's this one. I neeeeeeed to look the absolute best I ever had for this night. It'll not only make me feel so much better about myself, losing my best friend, and the breakup, but to me, I feel like it'll make him realize what he lost (they, like me have all put on some weight in the past year), it's almost like a revenge thing for me. I'm okay with that. Plus, New Years is always a fancy dancy event where I'm from. Formal wear and the whole bit, and I'd lovvvee to be able to wear the dress my SUPER SKINNY sister wore to her prom last year. It's gorgeous, but a) wouldn't fit me right now, and b) shows a lot of back, which means that I need to not have the disgusting backfat I'm sporting right now.
This is basically the dress, except hers is green, and doesn't drag on the floor: Gorgeous, isn't it?
I apologize, this was a long one, but I'm sure my next few will be short. I probably wont post again for a few days... Let's aim for Wednesday, yes? Until then,
à bientôt!
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